It's like God shit irony all over that family
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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