Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
