He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I see more hoeing in ur future
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