it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
