I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize