Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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