My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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