Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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