No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
