And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You're a waste of cheezeits
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
