glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
