Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
