the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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