shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
