Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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