It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
