I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
