i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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