If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
