Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
