How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize