hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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