Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Do you remember whose house we're in?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
