i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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