DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
