i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
