he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
