that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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