The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize