Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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