Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
