Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
