hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
