There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
