For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
