Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize