Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
