so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Never underestimate the power of titties
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
