You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
