I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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