Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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