I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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