Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
