just tell him i said nine months
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
