Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
