Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize