careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize