help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
