Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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