just tell him i said nine months
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
It was confusing and full of hummus
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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