so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
