we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
