whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
