Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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