The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
