I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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