plz talk dirty to me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
