you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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