Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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