That's when you crack a 10am beer
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
