I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
