I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
